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I'm Not alone cuz' the T.V.'s on yeah, I'm not Crazy cuz' I take the right pills Everyday...
I hear you calling, calling for me out in the night, but its all bad, and I know that...
Days will come that make no sense
My present situation makes me think too much, too much
It all revolves around you
This life that I'm living means nothing without you
I'd shed my skin for you (I'd shed my skin for you)
What would you want me to do (What would you want me to do)
I will always love you, but I can't live like this
This problem here is my fault
It's not that I don't care but I'm so lost
I'd shed my skin for you (I'd shed my skin for you)
What would you want me to do (What would you want me to do)
I will always love you, but I can't live like this
Why
Now you (With me, a buzz) see why
(Now you see why)
Don't fuck with feelings inside
Who you lying to? Will I survive?
I like what you put my through, 'cause I feel almost alive (Almost alive)
I'd shed my skin for you (I'd shed my skin for you)
What would you want me to do (What would you want me to do)
I will always love you, but I can't live like this
I'd shed my skin for you (I'd shed my skin for you)
What would you want me to do (What would you want me to do)
I will always love you, but I can't live like this
Contact Me
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Monday, May 09, 2005
Long time no see bitches....
Ok people listen up... I'm not really gonna be using this journal that much anymore if you havent already guessed... I'm now a member of "Live Journal" if you wanna go there and read my journal thats cool the link is http://www.livejournal.com/users/Aira_Draven/ or you can just type in the Username Aira_Draven but if you are a memeber add me and I will add you back, also if you all have AIM/Aol or Yahoo Messanger or MSN messanger hit me up, my name is XSorrowfulHeartx on all of them and my e-mail is XSorrowfulHeartx@hotmail.com come on and hit me up I'm fucking bored as hell and dont mind talking 2 people but if your gonna just like, mail me and message me being a fucking fool your azz will be blocked alright? Talk 2 ya all latter.
LaTTeRZ,
Aira Draven Mental Patient Number: 420666
Posted at 12:24 am by Aira_Draven
Saturday, June 05, 2004
Well I'm sorry everyone I haven't been posting on this journal as much since I got one at Live journal now. Http://www.livejournal.com/Users/Aira_Draven/ I think thats the right link, Hopefully it is... Anyways all the stuff you've been missing will be in that journal. I've decided that if you want to talk to me my Yahoo messanger names are: Slipknot_Kitty420 or HIM_Razorblade_Girl and my AOL or AIM messanger names are: Waterfairy420 and ValoismyGOD. there you have it. If you get really bored or wanna give me some ideas for Fixing the sad excuse I have for my waste of time I call my website please feel free to drop me a line.
Anyways its been a few days since I picked up the New LOVE METAL CD by H.I.M now I only need one CD and two boxsets to complete my H.I.M collection then I'm gonna go to work on my Rasmus (The Rasmus now) and my Nightwish collection... I plan on going to Finland in the near future for a short two week visit. Maybe if I like it enough I shall try to make a friend there so I can visit more often or perhaps even move there. Everyone who knows me understands how much I want to move out of this country. Nothing against America, I love it and the people here, but I don't feel at home. And theres too much drama for me here. Pleace cheak out www.heartagram.com and www.rasmusdeadletters.com if your bored and like "Metal/Rock" and "poprock" with a dark/gothic twist. I got to go for now...PEACE OUT!
LaTTeRZ,
Aira Draven Mental Patient Number: 420666
I felt your embrace once so great slowly decay.
I wanted you to stay but I drove you away.
I would have chased you but you would have gone anyway.
I feel the nights bleed into day. I try to sleep, but the memories won't let my mind stray.
I can't pretend that everythings okay when your gone.
I'm losing my sanity, I'm losing my soul, I all ready lost you, and you where my all...
Its a rather shitty poem but it was off the top of my head and at least it sounds okay right?!
Posted at 03:48 am by Aira_Draven
Sunday, May 30, 2004
This really sux Its another weekend that I'm spending in my house yet again. I am so sick of being in my house so much. I really need to get out of here and get some air even if its only for a few hours a day. Its not healthy to be trapt inside so much. I think one of these days I need to go see Amby. She hasn't returned any of my phone calls and now I'm just kinda sad. She has been so busy lately, but I guess thats what happens when people grow up. I never thought it would be like that with me and her though. I love her like a little sister and stuff. Well I'm gonna go for now. PEACE OUT!
LaTTeRZ,
Aira Draven Mental Patient Number: 420666
Posted at 01:19 am by Aira_Draven
Friday, May 28, 2004
Slipknot and The Rasmus CD Ratings
Okay everyone I had to delete my last post because I fucking didnt wanna hear anyone else bitching at me, my friend Amby called me to make sure I was alive and then told me she was gonna kill me for scaring her (even though she didn't read the post she got the voice message). Anyways I went to the store and got the Slipknot CD and got The Rasmus Cd just because it was like $8 and because I just love finnish bands, god I wanna go to Finland and see H.I.M and the Rasmus in concert...
Slipknot: (Vol.3 The Subliminal Verses) Review: Okay Slipknot has really proved the fact that you can take something good and make it even better. Most of us slipknot fans are use to hearing Cory Scream more then he sings in Slipknot. But I have to Say this new CD Isn't what I thought Slipknot would make it. Cory still Screams but its gone from Screaming through the whole song to now just in the Chorus. (on most of the songs anyway, there are some exceptions like in "Pulse of the Maggot's") I have to say that Slipknot has Evolved since Cory, Jim, and Joey went to there side projects. (Stone Sour and Murderdolls) I am happy to see the new work and I hope Slipknot has a long line of CD's in the future. (along with more from Stone Sour and Murderdolls cuz' I love them bands too, and not just because of Slipknot members being in them) This CD on my scale of rating gets 5 stars out of 5.
Rating: ***** out of *****
The Rasmus: "Dead Letters" Review: Okay for all of you who know me or don't know me, I am a Big Fan of Finnish Bands. I just love H.I.M and Night wish (I've liked them since 7th grade when me and amby had to special order the CD's online from Germany.) So I was not at all surprised when I bouth the Rasmus CD and found out while Reading the Copyright Info (Yes I really look into my music and info on it I have no life) And found that The Rasmus is a band from Finland. I had seen the Video for their song "In the Shadows" on Fuse Music Television. I was addicted to the Singers voice. The band sounds a lot Like H.I.M. in their lyrical style but the Singer has his own unique voice and the band is a bit harder at times and at others much softer then H.I.M. I highly support this band and think all the H.I.M fans should them a listen. The CD is much softer then I like but its cool for when I'm in my City club or my calm sad heartbroken moods. This CD in my opinion gets 4 stars out of 5 because its one that has to fit your mood and its more of a soft love rock or as H.I.M would say "love Metal" Type band. I hope they come out with more new stuff.
Rating: **** out of *****
Posted at 07:46 pm by Aira_Draven
Thursday, May 27, 2004
hey everyone my new journal for now can be found at http://www.livejournal.com/users/Aira_Draven/
I'll be posting here once in a great while, but for now live journal is a lot easier and takes all my icon pictures and quiz html. Plus all my friends are using live journal and even though I don't useually follow others lead, this one is a good lead to follow. PEACE OUT!
LaTTeRZ,
Aira Draven Mental Patient Number: 420666 Posted at 01:43 pm by Aira_Draven
Wednesday, May 26, 2004
another F...u...c...k...ed up day
Well Today's been yet another fucked up day. I got a whole hour of sleep since my last post. Went to sleep around 7 and got woken up 5 minutes latter by my moms bitching. When she left at 9 I fell asleep but only for a minute since My brothers girlfriend's little brothers kept calling over and over, then some people called for my mothers husband and by the time my cousin called at around 12:30 I was ready to bash my head in with the fucking phone. I finally got to sleep at around 1 and then my brother and all his people where being loud and woke me up around 2. About an hour latter I decided to go with my mom and her boyfriend shopping and I also took my flute and violin to try and sell them back to the place I bought them from (Fuckers didnt buy them back because they know their shits junk) and then after about 2 hours we got in the car and I got one of my Light migranes. I was ready to jump out of the car to end my pain. after we hit the last store on the way home Stone Sours "Bother" came on. Yet another one of my lifes theme songs. the words make me think of how much my life suxz at the momment. My real Dad thinks I hate him, I don't though... My brother and his girlfriend are annoying me with them always having sex and taking baths together in my moms house, I mean come on their 16. And my bro seems to want my mom to kick me out and not pay me back my money. I also didnt get my slipknot CD today becausemy mom needed my mney but she promised me I'd get it tomarrow and A new CD case that holds 300 CD's since I'm letting her use my room, borrow my money, and helping her with out giving her trouble about it.
I guess right now I feel used, unloved, an alone. I'm so confussed... I can't seem to figure out what exactly it is I need to do to change my life... I want to go on but it seems so hard. And today Jay told me he was mad at me. I guess Deez Boyfriend told him that Dee said I told her Jay was talking shit about her. Thats far from true I havent even talked to Dee. And Jay has never said one bad thing to me about Dee. And he knows me and Dee are friends so if he was talking shit I'd be the last person he would tell. But fuck it. I tried to call her and get her side of the story but she wasnt home and didnt call me back. I give up. I use to really like Jay But I dont know anymore, he seems like he only wants to talk to me when hes bored and I dont wanna be used anymore. Maybe I'll quit talking to everyone I know... Well thats all for right now. PEACE OUT!!!!
LaTTeRZ,
Aira Draven Mentail Patient Number: 420666
Posted at 01:26 am by Aira_Draven
Tuesday, May 25, 2004
Slipknots new CD and this weeks insanity
Halo everyone. Yup Today is offically The 25th which means in a few hours my Slipknot CD comes out and I can't wait to get my little paws on it. =^.^= Anyways I guess after I get it I will post A rateing on my webpage and in this journal to let all my fellow maggots know about it. I'm sure it will be good since they have really done wonders in The past and I just love the side bands (Stone Sour and murderdolls.) Now on to my week.
I was right after the funeral My moms husband went on a total coke and drinking spree. He didn't even try to cover it up he said he was doing any and every drug he could. My mom was mad and kicked him out this time for good. But I didnt believe her she always kicks him out. The next day (Friday) we where at my cousins and she wanted to call her ex-husbands mother. And when she did we found out he was getting off the bus from prision in a half hour. My mom has always loved this guy they have dated on and off since 2nd grade. We went and Got him and I am truely happy for her, he loves her and is so nice to all of us. Hes not like my moms husband, or should I say Ex-husband now since they are getting a divorce and shes getting re-married now to the love of her life. Anyways, he doesnt get mad at me for being the way I am. He doesn't tell me "don't say fuck!" "Clean the house." "Turn your radio down." And hes also a pro at the guitiar and now hes gonna buy one and teach me to play it. I'm really excited. But the only bad thing is my room is the coolest room in the house and has a lock on the door, so my moms making me sleep on the couch while they sleep in my qbed. My back and head hurt every mornning, but I'm okay with it I guess. I love my mom and would do anything for her. My brother and his girlfriend (More so my brother) are starting to get on my nerves. they are 16 and she lives with us now and sleeps in his room and now they take showers together every fucking day. They are 16 and if I did what they did, my mom would kill me. But thats life right? its never fair. Maybe I'm just jealous because I'm alone...
The other day I found out I have a friend whos just like me... He wants to die over his girlfriend or is she an Ex now? I dont really know. All I do know is hes a freind I really care about. I know we never really talked much, but I had a crush on him for a long time. I wanted to ask him out but Renna told me something about him and it changed my mind then I found out it wasnt true but he had a g/f by then. I am kinda worried about him. I don't want him to do anything, but his away message tonight has me so scared. I'm actually almost crying... Well thats all for tonight.
LaTTeRZ,
Aira Draven Mental Patient Number:420666
Posted at 02:09 am by Aira_Draven
Saturday, May 22, 2004
Hi again people. Today I'll write about annoying people in my life....
Why are certain people so Annoying? heres my list of annoying people.
1) My little brother... always so fucking annoying...
2)My ex-friends... I tell them to leave me alone and they don't and they even bring other people into the whole mess...
3)Ex's... Almost all of my ex's where and still are annoying...
and thats about all... PEACE OUT!
LaTTeRZ,
Aira Draven Mentail Patient Number: 420666
Posted at 01:14 am by Aira_Draven
Thursday, May 20, 2004
I cannot feel you there anymore... How did I lose my way?
It was so stupid of me to think our love would not decay.
I feel your soul slipping far away... So many things I want to say...
I'm empty and cold, I'm so alone... I'm breaking down.
I seen you there yesterday I tried to talk but you avoided me.
What can I do to make you stay? I'd die for you, I thought you knew.
I'm sorry for what I couldn't say, I'm sorry that I drove you away.
Can you please forgive me, I'll never forget, one last time I sware thats it.
Its all I need to go on, Wake me from this nightmarish dream.
I'm empty and cold, I'm so alone... I'm breaking down...
Well I'm back what can I say, It always seems like I'm alone. I don't really understand it. Everyone has someone but me. My brother has a beautiful, kind, loving girlfriend. He's very lucky, he was the one blessed with the good looks in my family, I was the one who everyone thought was pretty when I was younger, but how quickly that changes. I am basicly the fat ugly one... If you dont believe me go here and see for yourself. I know I just can't cut it in the Relationship department, So I'm willing to just give up on it... What can I do? I always thought that maybe someday I'd be married and even have a son, But I don't think thats my destiny... I think I'm gonna end up being some old cat lady who dies and sits in my house for a few months before they find my body all tore up by the hungery cats... lol I'm sorry I keep planning out these diffrent tragic ways for me to die... Its kinda funny because I can see this one comming true. Well I got to go finish writting my friend Amby... PEACE OUT!
LaTTeRZ,
Aira Draven Mental Patient Number: 420666
Posted at 12:19 am by Aira_Draven
Wednesday, May 19, 2004
Hello everyone, yup I think I'm going insane. Today started out as a normal boring day for me, life going the same. Woke up around 1:30 p.m. Went with my mom to help her friend Master Dave set up His new Tang soo do class building, however I was very interested in the fact that when I went into the bathroom it smelled like a bird or something died in the air vent... he really should get that taken care of. But then I just came home and spent the rest of my day Watching Fuse Tv which is like MTV but they play mostly Rock/Metal music videos which is kick azz not to mention this chick from a show on there called Uranium is soooooooo fucking beautiful, I think her names julia or something. Anyways a song came on from Eve 6 called "Inside out" its like really olf from 1998 or something, and it happened to be a song that I wanted to remember the name of for the longest so I was overly happy ya know? Then after I got out of the shower I went into my room and jammed some story of the year and blink182. I decided since there was nothing else to do, I would Pull out my trusty Feng Shui Tarot deck and do a love reading for myself. I was kinda expecting a bad card, but instead I got The Empress upright which is a suuuuuuuuuuuuppppppppppeeeeerrrrrrrrr good card. It means my love life is getting better and that the results will be way better then I am expecting. That Kind of makes my day... I mean for the first time in a long time I actually have some thing to give me a reason to go on, A big what if... I dont know the cards are almost always right for me, so I will put my trust into them and leave myself open for some good luck, I mean I think I should have some good luck now... I have done nothing but try to please everyone around me who I love, my friends and family if you will, I havent done anything to hurt anyone in my life, and if I have hurt someone it was in selfdefence or because that person got me to my limit in the anger Dep. I wouldn't intentionally hurt someone because I know how it feels... Well maybe my life will start heading for the better... PEACE OUT!
LaTTeRZ,
Aira Draven Mental Patient Number: 420666
Posted at 12:18 am by Aira_Draven
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